Monday, March 26, 2012

And Now For Something Completely Different

Well, this post is going to be pretty short because I don't really feel the need to touch on much. I think the score really does sum up everything that needs to be said. It didn't take long for the Wings to figure Columbus out, and once they did, it was a done deal. I will say that it felt a lot like people I'd been dogging lately really came up big.



Homer gets 2 goals, Clod Barfluzzie was playing pretty solidly, and finally, Gustav "Goose" Nyquist nets his first NHL goal on a sick pass from Pavel Datsyuk. Seriously, the reason Nyquist didn't get his goal puck right away is because it was sent off to ICU it was so sick. #Conkblocking didn't get challenged much, but he was solid and responsible when shots did game in. Wings were scoring power play goals, they were shutting down Columbus' power play...hell even the goal post participated and kept the puck out of our net. Granted it did turn around rob Nicklas Lidstrom for a second goal, that dirty, backstabbing whore of a goal post.


Look at this pass. Look at it and realize your life is meaningless without it.

The only quasi-negative thing I'm going to say about the game is that Columbus sucks. They're so terrible this year that they make the Edmonton Oilers look good. So yeah, Detroit Red Wings, you blew up a team so bad that it makes Gigli look like When Harry Met Sally. Yeah, I made a romantic comedy reference. Deal with it.

The point is, the Wings dominated because of non-stop pressure, great passing, communication, responsible play in their end and solid goal tending. They need to keep up that level of play against playoff teams. They need to keep consistent. That's the only thing I'm going to say that is quasi-negative. I'm going to let photos and video and awards tell the rest of the story.



Time for the Awards Segment of Our Show:

The Bret Lebda Game Puck: Rick Nash, because he's the captain. He's supposed to lead his team, in good times and in bad times. You want to learn how to lead a fuckin' team? Ask Nicklas Lidstrom and the guy who came before him. You know, that guy kept the Wings going while recovering from the "Dead Things" era, and took the Wings to their first Cup in 42 years. I think his name was Bob Rouse.

The Kris Draper Game Puck: I'm going to give this to Clod Barfluzzie, because he was Captain Assists tonight. 4 assists, solid play overall. Play like this makes it hard for me to hate him.

The Derian Hatcher Game Puck: Brett Lebda. Because being Brett Lebda pretty much qualifies you for this by default.

O' Captain, My Captain Game Puck: The Whole God Damned Team, really: But I want to give a ton of credit to Tomas Holmstrom for getting back to playing in front of the net well. Not taking bad penalties, not playing too close and too aggressive and getting blamed for stuff he didn't do. He got 2 goals he worked for a deserved. Also, Henrik Zetterberg gets the veritable hat trick of this award. He has to be mentioned again. 

The Red Wings have made it to the playoffs for 3/4 of my lifetime. How badly did the Red Wings bitch slap Columbus tonight?

Lidstrom got a goal and a blowjob. That's how
badly the Wings bitch slapped Columbus.

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